Saturday, December 15, 2007
Birth stories
myfatherslily@gmail.com
If you have favorite birth stories that you've read online (or videos you've seen), email those links too!
Garrett's journal
January 24, 2006 - 39 weeks pregnant
Could today be your birthday? I'm pretty sure I'm in very early labor right now. The contractions are very labor-like, i.e. somewhat painful, spreading to my hips, different than any braxton hicks I've been having. But they are quite short. Could be a long day ahead:) But I'll do anything have to so I can meet you! [5:12 am] What is one day of labor compared with the joy you'll bring us? I remember after ELiana was born I was thinking I do NOT want to do that again! At least not any time soon!! But as I held her and loved her over the next few days I thought that yes, if I had to do it again for HER, this child here in my arms, then I would do it a hundred times. She was worth it. And Garrett, I know you will be too!
I wrote in Eliana's journal in early labor so I thought I'd do the same with you. I haven't been timing contractions so just for fun I'm jotting times down in the margin here to see how far they are right now. [5:17 am] So those two were 5 min. apart. As I said though, they are quite short. More braxton-hicks length (20-30 sec) than real contraction length (50-60 sec).
I should be sleeping. I tried. I don't like contractions laying down. And I find it hard to fall asleep in between. I went to bed at 11 pm with strong braxton-hicks. Awhile later, maybe 12:00 or 12:30 Eliana woke up. I decided to just bring her to bed with me for awhile. [5:22 am] She laid pretty quietly but didn't sleep. Though I rested and half-slept, having an awake little girl next to me didn't allow for real sleep:) Around 1 am I took her back to her bed and she fell asleep right away. I guess I slept restlessly till 2:30 or 3:00. At 3 I woke your dad to tell him something was up, whether false or early labor. We talked a few minutes but I did tell him to go back to sleep. I tried to rest but as I said it wasn't comfortable. I took a long bath [5:30 am] instead which was quite restful. Lit a candle... it was nice:) I'm writing by candlelight right now.
When does the sun come up? I guess maybe it start around 6:00? [5:33 am] Sometimes Eliana wakes up at 6:15 and thought it's not completely light then, it's not dark either.
[5:35 am (very small one)]
End of journaling. Garrett was born at 5:50 am.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Okay, so maybe not...
Oh, and we have a boy:)
Friday, September 7, 2007
I'm back!
I am 15 weeks today. Somehow the last 5 weeks went alot faster than the first 6 (you know, from 4 weeks when you find out, till 10). I've seen my new OB twice. So far, so good. I'm working on my exhaustive list of questions for the poor guy. We'll have an ultrasound in 5 weeks. If you are all very good and post lots of comments, then maybe I'll let you know if we're having a girl or a boy;)
Does anyone want to share your birth plan? I'd love to read it for ideas and to see how you phrased things. I'll post mine eventually, after it's actually done, which is gonna be quite some time.
Here's a link for Letisha. I had referred to this alot when I was pregnant with Eliana but forgot about it until this afternoon. http://www.babycenter.com/average-fetal-length-weight-chart Apparently our baby is nearly 4" long and 2 1/2 oz!
This is neat too http://www.babycenter.com/fetal-development-images-15-weeks
How do you like the new blog template? The last one died on me and I didn't feel like figuring out why, so I just set up a new one. Let me know if it's too bright.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
9 week update
I am, of course, quite tired! Napping every day and not staying up too late seems to do the trick. I've tried very hard in the past to eat the perfect diet, but... well, I get tired of food. So this time, no checklists, no requirements, I'm just trying to eat a variety at each meal.
I've never had morning sickness, for which I'm quite thankful! This time is slightly different though. Although I still haven't had any nausea, I've had food aversions and cravings. I've come close to almost feeling nauseous, just an overall icky feeling, which is also new for me. But still feel very good, and again, I'm very thankful:)
Now if I'd had two boys already or two girls, one might laugh and say this baby must be the other sex! But if I've had a girl and a boy.... then what does a different pregnancy mean now??? lol:) Maybe it's an alien baby. Or twins... that would be so weird...
Update in a few months may include pictures, but... somehow I think a 9 week picture wouldn't be very interesting:) Oooh, I have an idea.... here's a picture:)
Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born
Just for the record, I don't agree with the parts about evolution either. But excellent book. Go read it. How's that for a review?;)
(Amazon.com) Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Another beautiful birth
http://twinstwobabies.blogspot.com/2007/07/birth-story-pictures-very-long.html
Saturday, July 14, 2007
"Normal Birth" video
~C. S. Lewis
Another excellent video - Everyday Miracles: A Celebration of Birth
Monday, July 2, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Choosing our birth place
I have been praying for over a year now that God would show me where our next baby should be born. A few months ago, I officially ruled out home. I can give you my human reasons why, but in the end, it's all about God. Is this birth the exception? Perhaps there will be a reason we need to be there. Or maybe Garrett was the exception. I don't know. But I do know where I will be most comfortable.
Beyond that most important reason, the primary subreason which lead me to this choice is location. We are 35 minutes from the nearest hospital. This was once acceptable to me, but no longer is. These two things (God's leading and location) are the absolute driving factors in my decision.
There is another thing I've been giving thought to. This is a matter of a woman's preference. IF there was a need to transfer from home... would I want to? With Garrett, each time I considered a specific birth possibility, I thought about the need for transfer. And I was okay with that. But for some reason, I feel differently now. The idea of having to climb into the car in the middle of hard labor, possibly with a serious problem, just weighs me down. I hate the thought of it.
I often wonder if I'll receive MORE questions about choosing a hospital birth AFTER a perfect home birth, than when I chose home in the first place! I know it's a truly rare thing to do:) I want people to know that it's not based on fear. I believe that, generally speaking, home birth is as equally safe as hospital birth. I am the last person to say that I fear birth. And I hope that Alabama legislators come to their senses soon and allow midwives to catch babies legally. We need that here.
And on lighter issues, once that decision was made, there are certainly a few perks to giving birth in the more typical location. I won't have to pay extra to get a hearing test for my child. I won't have to make an extra trip to see the pediatrician when my child is just a few days old. We'll save a few dollars (not a huge amount, since our insurance covered half of our home birth). None of these things play into my decision:) Just perks.
I realize the risk of intervention that comes with a hospital birth. I make no apologies for my choice. Please pray that I can find an obstetrician who is patient and concerned more with mother and child than policies and timelines. Pray that we can be respectful of each other and work together to make it beautiful.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Eph. 3:20-21
Some links for others who may be trying to make a decision as well....
Choosing a Place of Birth
Home Birth study
Birthing Choices:Health Care Providers and Birth Locations
Practices that support normal birth
The Home Birth Choice
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Praise God!
O Lord, how great are Your works!
February/March 2008
Psalm 139:16, 92:5
Friday, June 22, 2007
Birth story - Kaitlynn
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Birth Quotes
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Expectations
"The women tended to have very defined expectations of the performance aspects (i.e., what to do) in early labor but were more uncertain about what labor would feel like. This disconnect meant that women had to readjust and reappraise their expectations as early labor set in. "
"Husbands, family members, friends and doulas played important roles in supporting the women as they made decisions about their labors and managed the sensations they were experiencing. "
"This small study suggests that women spend energy and time in early labor sorting out their expectations, devising new plans, managing mixed emotions, and second guessing decisions. Providing women with strategies to anticipate and deal with gaps between expectations and experiences may help them adapt better to early labor and have confidence in their management strategies. "
How do you feel this applies to your own early labor?
With my first, I was given hours of mild labor to slowly adapt. I don't recall mixed emotions or second guessing myself, but I do believe it had alot to do with the way labor played out.
With my second, in that same period of early labor, I DID second guess myself. I remembered how it felt once it really got going and wondering if I was crazy for doing it again. I spent quite awhile sorting it all out in my mind.
What labor feels like would be an interesting discussion as well! It can be very hard to describe. Anyone want to take a shot at it?
Monday, June 18, 2007
Monty Python - Hospital Sketch
Too funny!
(Ignore the extra dumb clips at the end, at the bottom of this video screen.)
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Garrett's Birth - January 2006
You could say that my body was thinking about having a baby when I went to bed that night. I'd had lots of Braxton Hicks throughout my pregnancy but none that day until bedtime. I'd often go to sleep with those painless contractions and they'd always go away as I rested. This night they persisted, getting more annoying over the next few hours. I slept as much as I could.
At one point Eliana woke up. We snuggled for awhile in my bed:) She wasn't falling back to sleep and I needed rest, so I put her back in her bed. She went right to sleep then. Derek came to bed shortly after.
Around 3 am the 'Braxton Hicks' were distracting enough that I could call them early labor. I woke Derek to tell him that maybe things were happening. It was too soon to know for sure. We talked quietly for awhile, he gave me a nice backrub, then we decided he should go back to sleep. He was willing to stay up if I wanted him to, but no, I wanted to sleep more too.
I did try to sleep. I don't like contractions laying down. But this was such early labor, I didn't want to actually get up. I decided to take a bath. Derek watched me have a contraction as I prepared for my bath and commented that it definitely looked like labor. I brushed it off. It was still very early. I felt so perfect between contractions that I'd start to wonder if they'd stopped.
I took my hot bath by candlelight... it was wonderful:) As I soaked I thought about labor. As a man labors to provide food and shelter for his family, so a woman labors to have a child. The worst pain imaginable? No, certainly not. I am not afraid. It is merely hard work.
The contractions were stronger. I had to consciously relax through them. I started to wonder if this was really worth the trouble... do I really want to feel it all if I don't have to? But yes... I do. Not to be a super-woman. Just for myself. I know I can do it.
In the quiet of the night, in the flickering candlelight, I became determined to make this a wonderful memory. It could be hours or even all day until our baby was born. The power of the contractions might be overwhelming and exhausting by the end, but I would look back and say it was beautiful. This was my son's birthday.
By now my tub water was getting chilly. I got out and dressed in comfortable clothes. It was about 5 am. I knew this was labor now but figured I might as well wait till daylight to wake people up. There would be plenty of time. I drank some water and lit a second candle as I swayed my hips or squatted through a few easy contractions.
I had a cheap exercise ball ready for just this time. I set my candles down, picked up my journal that I am writing for Garrett, and sat on the ball.
Wow, the next contraction caught me off-guard. Must be sitting on the ball, I figured. Some positions just aren't comfortable. I had no better place to sit with the candles nearby, so I just stayed there. It was bearable. I timed contractions for the first time. 5:12, 5:17, 5:22... well, they were 5 minutes apart all day when Eliana was born. No big deal. These were really short, about 30 seconds long.
They did start without much warning. With Eliana I had time to completely let go and relax my whole body. These kept surprising me. I would try to relax or rock on the ball and then they'd stop almost as quickly as they'd begun. And I'd go back to writing.
5:30, 5:33... those were close...
5:35... well, that was just a small one, it hardly counts.
I was feeling tired and wanted to lay my head down. Not wanting to really lay down, I set the journal aside and sat on the floor next to the couch so I could rest my head on the cushions. Maybe I could sneak some more sleep before labor really got going.
Then came the fun part:)
I think I was squatting when the next contraction began. But this was no ordinary contraction. Without warning, without real labor pain, dilation was complete. My body was pushing this baby out. I was awed and shocked! I felt his body descending through my own.
When that contraction had ended, I ran to the bathroom, washed my hands, and felt for him. I didn't have to reach far - less than an inch in was the unbroken water bag. I felt his head in less than an inch and a half.
I called for Derek. He didn't hear me. I called him again. And again. He finally heard what he calls "screaming". I call it a woman trying to get her husband to wake up cause she's about to give birth!
He came in and I told him what was happening and to call our midwife. Another pushing contraction came and I wouldn't let him leave the room.
He called and she said they were on their way.
Another one and the water broke into the toilet. Very convenient:)
I had Derek spread out a blanket that was nearby so that I could get on the floor. I didn't want this baby born into the toilet!
The baby's head pushed to crowning. I felt it burning and let go of all my desires to help my body push. I knew I could tear with him coming so fast. I half squatted, half kneeled with my hand on his head, as if that might slow him down somehow. I moaned and hollered, not from pain or fear, but because of the intensity and power. I couldn't help but vocalize as my uterus worked so hard and quickly to birth my baby.
Derek called our sister-in-law Letisha, who lives next door, and told her to come over right away! She heard my moans and recognized them from Eliana's birth. I asked Derek, "Can you see his head?" He calmly replied that he could see it, while the reality hit him that this baby was coming RIGHT NOW.
The baby's head appeared. His precious, wet, sticky body slipped into our hands. In the silence of the morning, alone in our bathroom, our son was born.
Immediately after his birth, Derek called his mom who also lives next to us. She heard her grandson's cry and was here within minutes:) Letisha arrived just before she did.
That morning was precious. We did not cut his cord until the midwives arrived. I hadn't torn at all, despite his fast arrival. Since I was already in the bathroom, I was able to step right into the tub to clean up (I may try to plan it that way next time!). Then I slipped into my bed to get to know our new little one.
Eliana woke and met her new brother. She's loved him ever since:)
Letisha and Derek's mom were wonderful and I can never thank them enough for all their help! And Derek... well, I do believe he's the most amazing man in the whole world:) I am so blessed.
If I had the choice, I wouldn't change a thing about Garrett's birth. Then again... maybe next time I'll have Derek grab the video camera instead of the phone:)
Eliana's Birth - April 2004
Her birth also changed the way I view myself. I have given birth. I am a woman, not just because a certain chromosome combination made me female, but by God’s design. I am no longer a child myself, I am a mother. I have done what no man can. I have carried a child and brought that child into the world.
Eliana is our third child. The first was born into heaven five weeks after conception, on March 11, 2002. Our second child joined his/her older sibling on March 3, 2003, only three short weeks after conception.
God timed everything perfectly for this third baby. I had worked at a day care that summer and had just quit because, quite frankly, I hated the job. Derek had just been offered a new, better job and would start in 2 weeks. My period was late, I tested, and we were honestly so surprised! We just laughed!
We were so excited and also so nervous because of our previous miscarriages. Every twinge convinced me that we were losing the baby. I would take long walks just because I couldn’t stand another minute sitting in the house worrying. But then I would worry that getting too hot would hurt the baby, that raising my heart rate might hurt the baby, just moving scared me!
But each day went by problem-free. Not a bit of spotting. Not even any morning sickness. We finally started telling non-family members about the baby (family had known all along). We started to think that maybe God was gonna let us keep this one :)
Around 1 am I woke to a new feeling. These felt like mild menstrual cramps. I laid in bed and watched the clock. They were 4-8 minutes apart. No big deal. After 40 minutes or so, I got up to use the bathroom and discovered a small amount of brown blood. I knew that something was up, though it didn’t necessarily mean that true labor was about to start. I let Derek know and laid back down to try to get more sleep.
Really though, who can sleep when you think you might meet your baby soon? I tried, really I did. But every few minutes I’d get that crampy feeling and I was so distracted that I couldn’t sleep. Derek and I decided to get up and play Nintendo for a little while. Then I tried to sleep again, or at least just rest.
By 6 am, the contractions had changed a bit, but it still wasn’t clear whether they’d stick around. We decided to call family and let them know it could be the day. We knew they’d want to know right from the start.
We went for an early morning walk. Our neighbors were sitting outside and we stopped to quickly say hello. We didn’t want to let them know what was up. I had one contraction while we talked but it wasn’t hard to hide. We walked until it started to rain, maybe about 20 minutes. When I walked, the contractions increased. When I stopped, they slowed down.
Back at our apartment, we relaxed and ate breakfast. Closer to noon, we decided to go walking again. It was drizzling outside so we walked around Target. Around and around until we got bored, then moved on to another store. Again, when I walked the contractions got stronger and closer. When I stopped, they immediately slowed down. I didn’t know if I should walk until I dropped or rest and wait! We walked a little while longer then went back home.
I called my mom, ate a light lunch, and used the internet, stopping every 5 minutes for a contraction. Around 3 pm, I got off the computer and kneeled next to the bed to rock and soothe my aching pelvis. Rocking seemed to have the same effect as walking. I was hit with several hard contractions, some less than 2 minutes apart! Derek and I both agreed that we should head to the hospital.
Naturally, by the time we got there, the contractions were farther apart again! They hooked me up to some monitors and asked a bunch of questions. The nurse checked me. I was only 3 ½ cm dilated. Oh well, I knew it was still early. I felt kind of dumb to be there with such wimpy contractions. The nurse told us to walk around the Labor & Delivery floor until 5 pm (it was 3:30), then we’d check again and see if I’d be admitted or go back home. She said to stay on the floor and not eat anything.
The nurse told me to let her know when I started feeling pressure so she could call the doctor, who was not at the hospital. The feeling crept up slowly. I let her know. Eventually it turned into an urge to push. She checked me again and I was only 9 or 9 ½ with a lip. I was advised not to push yet. That was no easy task! Letisha reminded me to pant instead of push. Derek was always right there next to me. I don’t remember specific things that he did. But I remember him holding me and I know how comforting his arms were.
My mother-in-law had arrived a few hours earlier though I don’t remember it much! She was recording the birth for us.
They told me I could push. So I did. I know many women say pushing is a relief. The only good thing for me was that I didn’t have to NOT push! The pressure on my lower back, hips and legs was so intense. “Ache” doesn’t begin to describe it. With each push my belly hurt so bad, the same pain that had been there since laughing the day before.
I kept thinking, I can’t do this again. I can’t push another time. But I did. I pushed and rested, pushed and rested. I was on my elbows and knees, resting my head down between contractions. I was almost completely incoherent. I didn’t know who was in the room and I didn’t care. I only remember lifting out of the fog twice. Once when they were getting all the “birth tools” ready and I said, “We don’t want the cord cut immediately.” Someone laughed and said they knew. I guessed they laughed because I was completely out of it except to say that! Then I remember realizing that Derek was not right there and I wanted him. I looked up and called for him and he came to me.
I knew I’d been pushing for awhile but I didn’t know how long. Again, I didn’t care. Heard voices wondering to each other if I’d be better off upright. If you have any suggestions for a birthing woman, you’d better tell her directly and make it an order, not an optional idea! I was exhausted. I didn’t move.
A little while later someone did tell me that maybe I should move. It was so hard to respond and especially hard to move. But I knew she was right. I dragged my knees up and squatted, still facing the back of the bed.
I leaned on Derek, I pulled on the bed handles, I pushed with all the power I could summon. Slowly, slowly, slowly, a patch of wet, squishy scalp appeared. I felt it. It felt so strange! So hairy and smushy.
And it burned! Oh, it burned! I felt like my skin might rip open all the way up to my belly button! Letisha told me to pant when it burned. My urge was to keep pushing and just get it over with but I knew she was right.
So I panted then I pushed, then panted, then pushed. Her head was halfway out. I stopped pushing. The doctor asked me if I was having a contraction right then. I realized that I didn’t even know anymore when I was or when I wasn’t. I just pushed. He suggested I push while I wasn’t having a contraction. I pushed with all my might and out slipped her little head, all covered in dark brown hair.
The doctor told me I was through, let him do the work now. I figured she wasn’t out yet so I mustn’t be completely done! As he gently tugged her body out, I gave just a little push.
She was beautiful but all I could think was, I’m done, I’m done, I’m done! I was so glad it was over!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
About this blog
My obstetrician once told me that less than 10% of his patients wanted to deliver naturally. About 5% did. I believe in each woman having the information to make a decision about what is best for HER. I respect every informed woman who chooses to use pain relief:) The problem I find is that there is little support for the woman who chooses otherwise.
QUESTION OF THE DAY (or week or month or however often I ask questions!):
What is ONE thing that you believe to be one of the biggest factors in a woman achieving her goal of a natural birth? There are many things, I know:) So let's all share!
My own answer would be female support. A woman who's already given birth naturally. When she tells you, "You're doing great", you can believe her, cause she's been there!
One more related quote to close my evening....
"In [other cultures] every female is included, and young girls learn about birth at first hand... 'Unlike women in the West, few women in this group would give birth not having witnessed and helped with the birth of other babies.'"
Rediscovering Birth by Sheila Kitzinger (one of my favorite books about childbirth in general)
Pure Birth
Silent Knife by Nancy Wainer Cohen & Lois J. Estner, 1983
Letting Go
"'To stay in control,' says Lynn (Browne) Richards, 'is only our human fallacious attempt of gaining power over the all encompassing force of nature - of staying in control of our own mortality.' She suggests that instead of seeking to stay in control, we must choose to 'let go - to let go of our fears, our egos, and our very desire to control.' Rather than screaming in terror at the approaching waves, rather than trying to stoically withstand their force, we can choose to welcome them and rise them in to shore. Like body surfing, labor can be and should be a way or 'going with the flow.'"
Silent Knife by Nancy Wainer Cohen & Lois J. Estner, 1983
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Psalm 139:14-17